23 Years, 23 Lessons

This week, I celebrated my 23rd birthday.

While this year was very different from what I planned, I feel grateful for my journey thus far. In my lifetime, God has blessed me with amazing people, experiences, and lessons. Today I’ll be sharing 23 lessons I’ve learned in my 23 years.

Trust your gut: Self-doubt has blocked me from so many blessings. I’ve learned the hard way that, sometimes, we’re the only ones standing in our way. It was a hard pill for me to swallow but has been essential to my personal and professional growth.
Be kind to yourself: it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you’re willing to learn from them.
You have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else: To love yourself is to know yourself and to know yourself is to know how you want to be loved. Deep, I know right?
Love is HARD: I blame ’90s Rom Com culture for warping my idea of what love is. Being in a successful, loving relationship is not for the faint of heart. While it can be beautiful, relationships require self-awareness and a lot of sacrifices.
It’s okay to change your mind: As we learn, our perspective is bound to change. I had to embrace the idea that the Nikita I am today has a different perspective from Nikita 10 years ago. And my perspective today will be much different 10 years from now.
Mental health is just as important as physical: Growing up, I never knew how important mental health was. I assumed that things like therapy were only for “crazy” people. But after dealing with depressive episodes throughout high school and college, I realized that mental health can affect you just as much as physical health. I’ve since made it a priority to care for my mental health through meditation, journaling, and prayer.
Vulnerability does not make you weak: In fact, the ability to be vulnerable has been one of my biggest strengths when it comes to building personal relationships.
Your parents are humans too: Once I realized this, I was able to see my parents for what they are: regular people with traumas, baggage, regrets, and dreams – just like me. This helped me especially once I entered adulthood to transition my relationship with them from parent/child to adult/adult.
Experiences are worth more than material things: In my adulthood, I’ve realized that there is so much more out there to see. Since then, I’ve made traveling and experiences a priority.
Never go to bed angry: I know it sounds like some old school relationship advice, but you don’t have to be in a relationship to practice this. Going to bed every night is a chance to hit the reset button. Let go of any anger, hurt, or sadness you may feel because you have the opportunity to start over the next day.
Count your blessings: Every day. There is always someone wishing they have what you do. Don’t take it for granted.
You’re always one decision away from changing the course of your life: Be wise, be careful, and be open when making decisions.
Work hard but allow your blessing to come to you: I’ve learned that as long as I am willing to put in 100% my blessing is bound to come. This has strengthened my patience, removed my anxiety, and has brought me so much peace.
Choose your tribe wisely: I have been blessed with a circle of friends that I consider to be my family. I’ve learned that my friends are a reflection of who I am. I am proud to say that my tribe inspires me every day.
Crying is a form of therapy: I went from not crying for years at a time to crying at least twice a month. It gives me a sense of release and clarity.
Practice gratitude daily: It may feel like a full-time job, but practicing gratitude has helped me to focus on my many blessings. Read about how I practice gratitude on my blog post, The Art of Gratitude.
You’ll never it all life figured out: There is no manual for life. We are all just making this up as we go. So stop stressing yourself out and enjoy the ride.
Being comfortable can harm as much as it can help: I’ve learned to live right on the outside of my comfort zone. It has pushed me to grow more than I could have ever imagined.
My brown skin is beautiful: I feel honored to be a black woman. Society has tried to tell me different and for a long time, I believed it. But now? Baby, they can’t tell me anything.
Move in faith always: Over the years, I’ve learned to strengthen my faith in myself and God. My faith has brought me so much peace.
Faith without work is dead: While faith is necessary, it also requires work to back it up. Finding the balance between the two has been key to my personal development.
Timing is everything: What God has for you is for you. It’s already been ordained for you. Trust the timing, trust the plan.
Knowledge is a superpower: No one can take away your knowledge so strive to gain it in abundance.