For most of my life, things came easy for me. I had a strong relationship with my family and a good childhood overall. Academically, I was always an honor student. Socially, I made friends easily. Parents loved me and teachers adored me. From being the president of an award-winning debate team in high school to a member of the hottest dance team in college, I had plenty of accolades to showcase my success. Things just came easily to me. I was a quick learner and very motivated, so I was successful at most things I put my mind to.
From the outside, I seemed to have it all together. In my mind, I thought I did. I believed I had it all figured out. I found a few things that I enjoyed and was successful in. The awards and the constant praise from people around me affirmed that as well. In my mind, I had the foundation to be a success in my adult life. I had the knowledge and the drive to be successful in anything that I set my mind to. I thought I found my purpose.
But that all changed once I graduated from college.
College made me realize I had no clue what I wanted for my life. I bounced around from so many different major paths. I started out wanting to be a news journalist like Gabrielle Union in “Being Mary Jane” (without all the terrible relationship choices). Then I wanted to focus more on music journalism. Then, film production. I landed back on news journalism but changed my focus to news production. I didn’t really know where I saw myself but I was determined to figure it out.
Looking back I realize that wandering aimlessly in college was a hidden blessing. On one hand, I spent over $80,000 on a degree that I’m not sure I’ll need in the future. But on the other hand, college forced me to get real with myself. It made me realize that I never really knew my purpose. Until then, my accolades were my purpose. I was living for the praise from the people around me. I never took the time to figure out what I wanted. I connected my purpose with how successful I was. And even worse, if I didn’t feel as if I could gain success in whatever I did, I would simply give up. I felt that if it didn’t come naturally to me, then it wasn’t meant for me. I was sure my purpose would be something that came easily to me. This misconception made me wander aimlessly for a long time. I can admit, I am a very impatient person. If there’s something I want, I put 110% into making sure it happens in a timely fashion.
When I decided to change career paths early on, I did everything in my power to make the switch. I sent out countless job applications, constantly updated my resume, and went on many interviews. I was sure that I would get where I wanted if I kept pushing towards it. But now one year later, I’m in the same position. In the beginning, I was definitely upset. It felt like no matter how much effort I put in, how qualified I was, I just couldn’t get to where I ‘needed’ to be
I had to realize that a big part of finding purpose is being still. Finding my purpose required me to silence the world around me. I had to stop listening to opinions from others. I had to stop looking at the success of others. Most importantly, I had to stop correlating my success with my purpose.
To be honest, this is the least successful I have ever been in my life. It has also been the most confident that I have ever felt in my life. I had to realize that my purpose has already been ordained by God. Allowing myself to accept this was the best decision I have ever made. While I’m not exactly where I want to be right now, I also understand that I am in this position for a reason.
Moving in God’s purpose for your life requires complete sacrifice. It’s a tricky thing. Or at least it was for me. Many of us hope our purpose will bring us wealth, recognition, and endless happiness but, the thing about purpose is that it’s not self-serving. Moving in purpose can put you in the most uncomfortable position of your life. It may require you to start from the bottom. It could mean losing relationships that you thought would stand the test of time. People will constantly underestimate you. You may have to make a dramatic shift in your life that you never thought you’d ever have to. Moving with purpose requires humility and humbleness. One of the biggest things I’ve learned on this journey is that our purpose will not be revealed to us until we are truly ready to accept it. There are so many people out there that spend their entire life searching for their purpose. They never find it because they aren’t ready to accept it if it’s not what they hoped for.
Moving with purpose is not a glamorous process. It requires vulnerability, humility, and discipline. But the end result is so worth it.
