For almost everyone, graduation is one of the biggest and most rewarding events of their lives. It’s a symbolic closing to one chapter and opening of another in their life story. At any level, graduation is a chance for a fresh start. Do you remember what your first real graduation –from middle to high school? I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t wait to embark on my new journey as a high school student. I knew exactly how I wanted to dress, act, the clubs I wanted to be involved in, how I wanted to be perceived, etc. I was ready to change my life and graduation was the perfect excuse for me to do so. This same concept held true for my high school graduation. And it still held true during my college graduation just a few months ago. But for me, that excitement for change has always been challenged a few months later by a wave of uncertainty, anxiousness, and fear.
During every graduation since middle school, post-grad blues has hit me like a ton of bricks. Thankfully as I’ve gotten older, I have become more aware of my mental health. As I reflect, my lowest points have been around my freshman years in high school and college – just a few months after graduation. But now that I am done with school, these feelings are a bit harder to shake. But one thing that I want to know is why does this happen? And if it’s happening to so many people, why are we not talking about it?
I am not an expert by any means, so this will not be a self-help article. And getting over post-grad blues is not a quick and easy three-step process or just choosing not to be sad anymore. Everyone goes on different paths after graduation, so post-grad blues manifests itself in everyone differently and should be treated differently. Some college grads get the job of their dreams after graduation while others don’t. Some are able to move into their own apartment or home while other move back in with their parents. Some get to do exactly what they want to do after graduation while others don’t. And guess what?
There’s a possibility that each of these people are going through a stint of post-grad blues. Shocker right? I know what you’re thinking. ‘Oh please, how can someone who got everything they wanted be going through post-grad blues?’ Believe me, it’s possible. Social media has a big role in this perception as well. You want to wallow is self-loathe? Scroll through Instagram for 20 minutes. It’s like falling down a rabbit hole. Here’s a news flash: people only post what they want on social media. So if they filter out all of the bad stuff and only post the good that is all you will see. So yes, they might post about getting their dream job, but they will not tell you that the pay sucks, their boss is an asshole, they’re having a hard time fitting in with coworkers and the job is nothing like what they expected. We’re all going through something, don’t forget that. For college grads, most of us are just transitioning to adulthood. Whether or not everything is going how we planned, remember it is still a TRANSITION and transitions are not easy.
So now that we know we are not alone, what do we do about this? Once again, I’m no expert so please take these tips with a grain of salt. These habits have helped me become aware of my post-grad blues, my triggers and have helped me out of those sad moments. So here’s what I do.
- Take social media breaks. I used to be the person who would be on Instagram the minute they woke up. Basically, the first thing I would feed my conscious mind would be posts of other people living their best life. As humans, we compare everything. If the first thing we see when we wake up is someone else living the life we wish we could afford or have the balls enough to do, we’re setting up that sad, self-loathing mood for the rest of the day. So, during my work week, I delete all social media apps. I start my morning with 15 minutes of meditation/prayer, and a few verses from the Bible. I’ve noticed a real difference. Things I would usually react negatively to don’t affect me as much. Plus, I wasted an excessive amount of time on social media and it was cutting into time that I could have been doing things I needed to do. My days have been much more productive since cutting back on social media.
- Get your ass up and move. I absolutely hate exercise. Like hate it so much. How does it take me 30 seconds to eat a doughnut, but a 20 minute one-mile run to burn it off? It’s a scam. And my friends will tell you how much I loooooooveeeee sleeping. Ugh, I could sleep for 10 hours straight and still wake up tired. So if someone told me that I would be choosing to do a kickboxing class instead of taking a midday nap a few months ago? I would have belly laughed in their face. But it’s true. Besides the fact that I have some weight loss goals I’m trying to reach, I feel amazing after a good workout. Sleeping my day away felt great but I also felt a wave of guilt after wasting so much time in bed when I could have been doing something else. Exercise is my way to stay out of bed and pay attention to my body. Even for just 20 minutes, I focus on myself and when I finish I feel great.
- Get back into those forgotten hobbies. As kids, being bored was not an option. We couldn’t stand being bored. We colored, we played with toys, we played outside, we wrote silly poems, we read stories, and we played until we were pooped. Tapping into my inner child helped me especially when it came to ditching social media. For me, I loved to read and write stories. So when I get bored now, I pick up a book or start writing. It keeps me entertained and has helped me find my love for writing again. For you, it may be drawing, photography, fishing, etc. Get out there and try it again.
- Get out of the house. This one I had to learn the hard way. I am a certified home body. I’m a lounger, I like to lounge around. But when you’re going through post-grad blues that gets old QUICK. My issue was not going out, but the idea of going out by myself. I work overnight at a news station, so I am off when most of my friends (the few that I have) are at work and by the time they get off, it’s my bedtime. So I forced myself to go out alone. I go to the beach, I go thrifting, I go out to eat, and I go to the movies all by myself. At first it felt weird, but now it feels like self-care.
- Pray. If you didn’t know, I, Nikita Grant, love the Lord. So praying and feeling connected to God is a big thing for me. Just like everyone, I do sin, I’m not perfect. But making a conscious effort to talk to God throughout my day has shed so much light of my life, my goals, and my spiritual journey.
Once again these are just a few of things that have helped me work through my post-grad blues, so take them with a grain of salt. But the one thing I want you to know is that you are not alone. I encourage you to bring this topic up to some of your friends and see how they feel about it. This is not the end of the world, you just have to make the conscious effort to work through it. Be intentional with everything you do. Work on you. And soon, you’ll be living YOUR best life too.
